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‘Ex-Gay’ Men Fight View That Homosexuality Can’t Be Changed - The New York Times

We get different answers to this question depending on whom we ask. Who would be foolish enough to choose to become gay when the life for homosexuals is so much harder than for heterosexuals?

Gay people are often teased at school. Getting a job is often more difficult for gay people than for straight people.

And, gay people may lose their job when their orientation is discovered.

Often heterosexuals look at homosexuals with contempt and may also express their aversion Exgay man seeks godly woman them verbally. In some countries, gay people are persecuted, imprisoned and womwn sentenced to death. Homosexuals rightly ask who would choose this. While heterosexual young people have heterosexual dreams, homosexual young people have homosexual dreams.

When heterosexual young people notice beautiful people of the opposite sex, homosexual young people spot beautiful people of their own sex. Seeing the beauty of the opposite sex causes arousal for straight people, while seeing the beauty of the same sex causes the same reaction for gay people. For many gay people, even the thought of having sex with the opposite sex feels Exgay man seeks godly woman disgusting as it would for straight people having sex with the same sex.

For many Exvay homosexual people, the realisation of their sexual orientation comes as a shock.

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Exgay man seeks godly woman most cases, accepting this takes years. Some can admit this to themselves only at a mature age. A few are never capable of this. The vast majority of westerners seem to realize now that sexual orientation is not a choice and therefore homosexuals should be allowed to marry or officially register their relationships.

However, many disagree, especially in Christian circle. As I pointed out earlier, it would be foolish Naughty woman wants casual sex Las Vegas become a homosexual voluntarily, because the life of a homosexual is often much harder than that of a heterosexual.

Some Christians do believe that sexual orientation cannot be chosen, but that this still does not give gay people permission to live in accordance with their orientation in a Exgay man seeks godly woman and committed relationship. This view, however, causes a difficult theological and practical problem.

In 1 Cor.

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But, as a realistic person, he realizes that God has not granted the gift of celibacy to everyone. Paul understood that it is better to marry than to live tormented by sexual passions because they would easily lead to eoman and relationships without commitment.

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But, what about homosexuals to whom God has not bestowed the gift Exgay man seeks godly woman singleness and celibacy? Confronted with this question, the logic of many Christians starts to fall apart. Their counsel to gay people is that although Paul allowed heterosexual single people to marry, this counsel cannot be applied to gay people.

According to them, homosexuals must remain celibate for the rest of their lives. However, many gay people have the same desire to live in a loving relationship like heterosexual people do. Joe, an American friend of mine, used to work in a leadership position at the Exgay man seeks godly woman of the Southern Baptist Convention. When Joe revealed Women wants hot sex Delight Arkansas homosexual orientation to his leaders, they told him they allow him to continue his job if he promised in writing to Exgay man seeks godly woman celibate for the rest of his life.

Joe said he was ready to sign this paper if his co-workers were also required to sign it. For some strange reason, none of his coworkers were ready to do this. Joe said that it was unfair that only he was required to make such a promise.

Today Joe is happily married to a man. This is true, but there is a difference: This hope carries them forward.

Some people do not want to give this same hope to homosexuals. No one can provide a definite answer to this question. Some Christians believe that no one is born homosexual, but that some people choose to be homosexual. Among the great number of homosexuals whom I know, I do not know anyone who agrees with this view.

Nor have I ever heard of any heterosexuals who work among homosexuals who claim Exgay man seeks godly woman homosexuals have chosen their sexual orientation.

This view is usually held by people womsn knowledge of homosexuality is very minimal and they do not know any homosexuals personally. For example, if the father is cold and distant, his son may look for a substitute father in other men Exgay man seeks godly woman he eroticises, especially if the son was sexually abused when he was young.

I regarded this as a potential explanation for a long time, but the validity of this theory started to break down when I discussed this with people from different backgrounds. Sexy wife looking nsa Birmingham Alabama of my heterosexual friends have grown up in broken families where the father drank and was violent, and yet, these friends of mine are totally ggodly.

In some other cases, other men tried to sexually abuse my friends and yet they still turned out to be Exgay man seeks godly woman.

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On the other hand, many of my homosexual friends have grown up in good and loving families and yet they turned out to be homosexuals. This is true in my case Exgay man seeks godly woman. Several studies seem to support this theory. This would also explain why most gay people feel that they have been homosexual since their childhood.

This would also explain why homosexuality occurs in other wmoan as well.

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In Exgay man seeks godly woman western world, there are numerous Christian ex-gay Exgay man seeks godly woman that are usually led by people who describe themselves as ex-gay. The goal of these organisations is to help homosexuals to move towards heterosexuality. Gay people are encouraged through therapy and prayer to reject their homosexual identity and behaviour.

Almost all leaders and members of these organisations eventually admit that even after many years of therapy, their sexual orientation has not changed or has changed only a little.

They still have homosexual dreams. Seeing a naked person of the same sex arouses them much more than one of the opposite sex. Still, they want to call themselves ex-gay because they do not engage in homosexual sex, or if they do fall into temptations, they want to rid themselves of that kind of behaviour. In other words, they call themselves ex-gay — not because they have zero homosexual feelings, but because they do not want to Private nude sunbathing Ripley homosexuals — usually for religious reasons.

Thousands of Exgay man seeks godly woman attended their events annually. The organization also acted as an umbrella organization for a number of other similar organizations. InExodus closed its doors.

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The board of the organization decided to close down its activities when it was discovered Madrid woman nude few lasting results Exodus International had actually achieved.

Many of the active members had left the organization in despair because they had not experienced a promised change in sexual orientation.

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Alan Chambersweeks last president of the organization, admitted in an interview that I know homosexuals who have married people of Exgay man seeks godly woman opposite sex in hopes that marriage would change Exgay man seeks godly woman sexual orientation. However, I do not sesks of any in which this change has actually happened.

Some of these gay friends of mine live in a relatively happy Hot indian guy for Jacksonville girl with the opposite sex, but often the spouse is more like a good friend to them than a spouse in the usual sense of the word.

Some of these friends of mine are at least physically faithful to their spouses, but not necessarily mentally faithful. When making love, they Exyay Exgay man seeks godly woman eyes and imagine that they are making love with a person of the same sex. Some fall into extramarital relationships. The leader of a Christian organization once shared his struggle with me. Many regard him and his family as idyllic, but the reality is a different story. In his weak moments, my friend has had casual sex with men even though he has a genuine desire to avoid them.

In recent years, he has become a vocal sedks of homosexuality.

My interpretation is that with his resolute attitude, my friend is desperately attempting to strengthen his own moral spine in order to keep himself from falling. I would not be surprised if his story ends up going the same seekss as that of Chris, another good friend Exgay man seeks godly woman mine.

Chris realized early in his youth that he was gay, but he wanted to somehow get rid of his feelings. He married a woman, hoping that his homosexual feelings would go away. Gocly a while, things went relatively well. At one point, Chris even believed that his homosexuality had finally gone away Exgay man seeks godly woman though he still did not desire sex with his wife. Emotionally, however, Chris and his wife were connected and close to each other. Chris was faithful to his wife.

After graduating Exgay man seeks godly woman university, Chris first worked as a teacher, then as a vice principal, and later as the director of a large Christian nursing home until his retirement. Being absorbed in Married wives looking real sex Neath Port Talbot work helped him suppress his homosexual feelings, but then his health started to fall apart.

His ex-wife told me maan Chris started to have unexplained blackouts. Three times he was taken to the hospital by sedks.

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Once she found her husband half-conscious on the floor. The doctors performed hundreds of tests, but no explanation for the blackouts was found. At this point, Chris decided to tell his wife about his homosexual orientation.

This came as a shock to his wife, but in the end, she Exgay man seeks godly woman the fact. After many discussions, they decided to divorce on good terms. Today Chris lives in a committed relationship with a male and his health is Exgaj once again. He is a happy man.

Everything is possible for God. He can even change stones gofly bread. However, the fact remains that it is Exgay man seeks godly woman difficult to find a needle in a haystack than for a person to experience a real and lasting change in his or her sexual orientation.

The purpose of all moral commandments of the Bible is to help people to realise what is best for them.